I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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