I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
