Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He told me they were just razor bumps!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
