I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm sobbing to NWA
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize