What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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