I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
