I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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