Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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