i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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