Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
