And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just cropdusted the office
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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