If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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