I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
