stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
