I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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