You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
