Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
