I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
