She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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