well you can't waste a boner
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
