Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
