we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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