i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
