Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
