Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
