Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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