was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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