That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
