Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
