But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I feel like abortions should bother me more
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
