You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
