I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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