its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
They took my balls.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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