I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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