this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
