You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
