i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
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I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
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Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We're too hungover to prance.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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