You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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