yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
