Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
