I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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