In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
