Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
