Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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