Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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