Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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