to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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