As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
