I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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