i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
