Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
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SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.