the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.