if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
