32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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