made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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