i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
