i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize