can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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